The Tender Bar
J.R. Moehringer
(9 out of ten)
Category: Memoir
Hardcover: 384 pages (also available in paperback)
First Edition: September 1, 2005
Few of us would call a bar a holy place. But for J.R. Moehringer, the bar has been his refuge and sanctuary where “the heart is purer, the mind clearer.”
The mostly male populace of the bar, in Manhasset, New York, has provided him the balance he sought growing up in a house populated by the female species. The men from the bar makes up for the absence of his father, whom he calls “The Voice, a DJ who almost killed his mother when he was a baby.
He writes affectionately about the bar, the characters that inhabit it, and how it had served him and saved him from most of his life. From his struggle to search for his own identity separate and distinct from his father, to his feeling of helplessness of being unable to provide for his mother; his acceptance at Yale and the difficulty of an underprivileged student studying at an Ivy League school; his first love and heartbreak; his dead-end copywriting job, the bar has always been the place he sought for solace and answers. Drinking, drinking, and drinking. Where it seems drunken wisdom rings truer than a sober one.
The writing flows seamlessly from page to page, from characters to characters, and anywhere in the book are nuggets of wisdom that run smoothly like a good ol’ drink. When he was failing spectacularly at Yale, his mother told him: “Your best is what you can comfortably do without having a breakdown.”
And when he voiced out his concern about his first love, asking his mother what if it ends. His mother replied, “You’ll find a way to live.”
Indeed, for all his search for a perfect male role model, JR realized that his mother, more than any other male character in his life, has always been the resilient one so much so that when he finally graduated from Yale, he gave his class ring to his mother.
He quotes Shakespeare in Measure for Measure, “They say, best men are moulded out of faults/And, for the most, become much more the better/For being a little bad.” And his story shows us how.
written by admin